The night after Services for Michele,I slept like a rock. Of course, I was exhausted. Now, I'm not sleeping so well. I wake frequently, am up and down. I know I'm dreaming, but I can't remember my dreams, maybe out of self protection. Michele is in my thoughts a great deal. I see the parents in China who have lost a child to the earth quake, and I mourn with them, thinking I know how they feel. I remember that the Chinese are only allowed one child per couple and I realise that I have been blessed with another child who has graced me with another daughter in his wife, and with 3 wonderful grandchildren. In my grief, I remember to be grateful.
I am grateful for Michele's life, for all she taught me and the joy she brought. I am even grateful for the painful moments as well. The people who were her staff and care takers are having a memorial for her next week. They want me to bring some memories of her early life. That's got me thinking of her as a baby and a toddler. It's a good thing cherish the memories. I guess it's part of the healing process, which I sense,will take awhile.
My impulse lately, has been to hide awayand lick my wounds. I know that it's my nature to go within for awhile, but I will make the effort to look outward. Today, my Aunts are taking me to lunch for my birthday, by Sunday, I will return to my job. I'll find ways to cope.
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