I had intended to keep this a bit more currant, but as the title says, my days seem to keep running together. I seem to be doing the same thing day after day. I guess humans have an easy time getting into a rut.
When I learned that I had cancer, for some reason I thought that I would face some profound changes. Of course, it isn't over yet and changes, physical at least will come, but I think I expected mental or spiritual changes, at least a change in outlook. I do view my future differently, mostly as being a bit fluid, as I don't know the final outcome. Still, I seem to be lost in the routine, the commute to treatments, the irritation to be tied down to a bag of chemo therapy, the side effects, which to be honest haven't been too bad. I seem to have slipped into a routine that seems to be keeping me from getting anything done other than treatment. I guess that it's normal to focus on that.
I had plans of resuming my yoga practice, keeping up my journal, doing some sewing, etc., Instead, I do crosswords, read, play solitaire. Whee, what fun! But still, I do have hope that I'll get my act together.
Thursday, September 22, 2011
Wednesday, September 14, 2011
Strange Day
Yesterday was a pretty strange day. Of course, I seem to be getting a lot of those. It was the end of the first week of chemo therapy and I wasn't quite sure what to expect. I kept watching the read out from my little pumping machine and felt like I was going to be finished with the fluid earlier than my appointment to put the new bag on. I decided to go into Salt Lake early to see if they could work me in. When I got there, they said not to worry if the alarm wasn't sounding, just go downstairs to my radiation treatment.
When I arrived at radiation much too early, I found that they had a scheduling problem and everyone was running late. Of course my alarm went off. I called upstairs and they walked me through turning off the alarm and stopping the infusion and said I'd be fine until after my radiation. Unfortunately, the alarm wouldn't stay off. I had to keep turning it off every 5 minutes or so and during my radiation treatment, I just had to listen to it! When I went upstairs to get new solution hooked up, the alarm just kept cheerfully sounding no matter how many buttons were pushed! At least once the new solution was running, it all seemed to go back to normal. The nurse who was helping me said that model of pump wasn't too user friendly. A bit of an understatement!
My Radiologist told me I was half way through my treatments. I will get some recovery time before they decide about the surgery.
When I arrived at radiation much too early, I found that they had a scheduling problem and everyone was running late. Of course my alarm went off. I called upstairs and they walked me through turning off the alarm and stopping the infusion and said I'd be fine until after my radiation. Unfortunately, the alarm wouldn't stay off. I had to keep turning it off every 5 minutes or so and during my radiation treatment, I just had to listen to it! When I went upstairs to get new solution hooked up, the alarm just kept cheerfully sounding no matter how many buttons were pushed! At least once the new solution was running, it all seemed to go back to normal. The nurse who was helping me said that model of pump wasn't too user friendly. A bit of an understatement!
My Radiologist told me I was half way through my treatments. I will get some recovery time before they decide about the surgery.
Sunday, September 11, 2011
Time To Post Again
It's been nearly a year since I last posted on my blog. I guess I thought I had nothing to say. Looking back,
however, there has been a lot happening in my life.
I was tired of the commute into Salt Lake nearly full time and an opening came for doing demos in Tooele's Walmart, so I grabbed it. The job is the same, I demo products and try to sell them. However, the method is quite a bit different and has taken some getting used to.
My son Robert is now living with my Aunt and me, trying to find work. He misses his children like crazy. We were able to have the youngest son with us for about 3 weeks and his daughter for nearly 2 weeks. MaryLou and I didn't see much of them because they were really keeping their Dad busy.
The biggest change is in me. I finally decided to get a doctor and start using my Medicare. I'd had some problems with my bowels and thought I had an internal hemorrhoid and finally consented to have a colonoscopy. I'd put it off because I thought it would be too painful. I found out that you can be sedated.
It's really too bad that I didn't have the procedure sooner. My hemorrhoid turned out to be cancer! I have 2 tumors. I even have pictures of the things, in color, no less.
Since then I've pretty much been going from doctor to doctor. It seems these days that you have to have a specialist for everything. I have my primary doctor who is very supportive and helped get my blood pressure under control. Then there's 2 surgeons who take care of different things, there's a doctor who did the "staging" which estimates how far along the tumor growth is. There is a doctor of radiation therapy and all the nurses and technicians and there's an Oncologist and all the support people that comes with it.
Now I have radiation treatments 5 days a week Monday through Friday. I've had about 3 weeks so far. I try to work my job on weekends. Last week I started on chemo therapy wit a constant drip into my PICC line 24/7. I carry my fanny pak with my bag of chemo and the pump that gets it into me.
I will try to post how things are going for me and how I feel and any thoughts that I think need to be put down. I do this mostly for myself, but for anyone who comes upon my blog who might need information or might benefit from anything I might say.
however, there has been a lot happening in my life.
I was tired of the commute into Salt Lake nearly full time and an opening came for doing demos in Tooele's Walmart, so I grabbed it. The job is the same, I demo products and try to sell them. However, the method is quite a bit different and has taken some getting used to.
My son Robert is now living with my Aunt and me, trying to find work. He misses his children like crazy. We were able to have the youngest son with us for about 3 weeks and his daughter for nearly 2 weeks. MaryLou and I didn't see much of them because they were really keeping their Dad busy.
The biggest change is in me. I finally decided to get a doctor and start using my Medicare. I'd had some problems with my bowels and thought I had an internal hemorrhoid and finally consented to have a colonoscopy. I'd put it off because I thought it would be too painful. I found out that you can be sedated.
It's really too bad that I didn't have the procedure sooner. My hemorrhoid turned out to be cancer! I have 2 tumors. I even have pictures of the things, in color, no less.
Since then I've pretty much been going from doctor to doctor. It seems these days that you have to have a specialist for everything. I have my primary doctor who is very supportive and helped get my blood pressure under control. Then there's 2 surgeons who take care of different things, there's a doctor who did the "staging" which estimates how far along the tumor growth is. There is a doctor of radiation therapy and all the nurses and technicians and there's an Oncologist and all the support people that comes with it.
Now I have radiation treatments 5 days a week Monday through Friday. I've had about 3 weeks so far. I try to work my job on weekends. Last week I started on chemo therapy wit a constant drip into my PICC line 24/7. I carry my fanny pak with my bag of chemo and the pump that gets it into me.
I will try to post how things are going for me and how I feel and any thoughts that I think need to be put down. I do this mostly for myself, but for anyone who comes upon my blog who might need information or might benefit from anything I might say.
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