tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-296652982024-03-12T22:06:55.473-06:00Sharon's opinionsJust a place to voice my ideas, concerns and opinions.my musingshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04483656855801450172noreply@blogger.comBlogger264125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29665298.post-89608683519371996452012-09-03T17:02:00.002-06:002012-09-03T17:02:59.528-06:00Let go of the past, be grateful for the present and be open to the future. This could be a way to live your life. Of course it's not always easy to let go of the past, we sometimes seem to obsess about the bad things.<br />
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To me, it's easier to be thankful for the present, though on some days I might have to resort to being thankful for the sunrise, the moon and stars, oxygen to breathe etc. Those are the obvious things. I saw a poster which said, "Thank you for the hard experience. I learned something." Sometimes it takes awhile after a hard experience to realize that you learned something valuable, but it's often the case.Being thankful for a boring day might seem hard unless you've had too much excitement lately, or you just need a day that doesn't require much effort.<br />
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Being open to the future is, for me, a little bit more difficult. Do I imagine a future that I want thereby, perhaps limiting my future in some way, or do I just sit back and say "Okay Universe, surprise Me"?<div class="blogger-post-footer"><script type="text/javascript" src="http://embed.technorati.com/embed/hvded6fiwi.js"></script></div>my musingshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04483656855801450172noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29665298.post-80222919572819820452012-08-27T17:42:00.001-06:002012-08-27T17:42:19.305-06:00I was on Facebook today and a friend posted a video from You Tube. It was a clip of Mama Cass Elliot singing "Sing Your Own Kind of Music". I always loved the Mamas and the Papas, especially Mama Cass with her clear, pure voice. The song has been running through my head, as good songs do, but it's giving me a nudge, making me ask myself some questions. Am I singing my own kind of music? What is that music? Am I really living the kind of life I want to live and maybe need to live?<br />
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There's an old quotation, something about dying with your song unsung or something like that. I've just spent the last year of my life battling cancer. I've had to admit that I'm not likely to be immortal. At least the body isn't.<br />
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I think most people have an idea that they are, perhaps meant to do something special or important with their lives, even if it's special only to them.<br />
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I read somewhere that before we're born, we decide what it is we want to do with our lives and even choose the parents we'll have so that we'll be more likely to accomplish whatever it is we intend.<br />
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My father always told me that if we didn't do all that God wanted us to do that we'd have to come back in another lifetime to do it right. My feeling is that we are the ones who decide what each lifetime will mean, and God will help us to do it.<br />
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I know that not everyone believes in reincarnation, but for me, it's kind of a comfort. If I'm wrong, so be it. <br />
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<div class="blogger-post-footer"><script type="text/javascript" src="http://embed.technorati.com/embed/hvded6fiwi.js"></script></div>my musingshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04483656855801450172noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29665298.post-24278641125710392462012-08-09T17:55:00.000-06:002012-08-09T17:55:55.469-06:00I'm reading a book called "Earth" by David Brin who is an astrophysicist. It takes place in 2038 and earth is suffering from global warming. It's interesting that this book was written in 1990 and he's trying to extrapolate from what was known or believed in that time to nearly 50 years into the future.<br />
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People have to wear dark glasses and protect their skin due to increased sun danger from the thinner ozone layer. There are migrations to the Yukon because it has become more temperate. People want to go to Patagonia for the same reason, and the Antarctic is also thawing. There are "arks" to protect dying wildlife and there are new religions based on Gaia worship, you know, Mother Earth. <br />
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Of course all of these things are just the context for the problem of the mini black hole that's circling around the earth's core. Some scientist developed it for a South American Government who claims it's for powering the electric grid.<br />
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Now, in 2012, comes an anouncement from the National Weather Service that July was the hottest month ever recorded. The past year has also been the hottest on record. I also read an op-ed article from James Hansen who is the head of NASA. He was one of the first scientists to warn about global warning and he says now that he's afraid he underestimated the speed of the warming.<br />
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In the meantime, the conservative people in the government are still claiming it just ain't so. I live in Utah and our legislators are quite sure it's just a scam. More like wishful thinking. I'm not sure how much more of the Arctic ice needs to melt or how many polar bears need to die before we get serious about CO2 in the air.<div class="blogger-post-footer"><script type="text/javascript" src="http://embed.technorati.com/embed/hvded6fiwi.js"></script></div>my musingshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04483656855801450172noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29665298.post-34889847139289133652012-08-08T03:33:00.001-06:002012-08-08T03:33:56.883-06:00It's 3:30 AM and obviously I'm not asleep. I've planted potatoes on Farmville, posted some pictures, read another friends blog, but I'm still awake. I really hate it when this happens. I was asleep for awhile but when I got up to the bathroom, I couldn't go back to sleep. My cat doesn't help. She figures, if I'm awake I should pet her and pet her.<br />
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I think that my brain just gets into high gear and won't stop. I've even thought of going for a walk. I live in a quiet neighborhood, but still, it's the middle of the night. People who happened to be awake might be concerned with seeing my wandering around in my nightgown.<br />
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I guess I'll have to give in and take one of my herbal remedies. Hopefully I can salvage some of the night.<div class="blogger-post-footer"><script type="text/javascript" src="http://embed.technorati.com/embed/hvded6fiwi.js"></script></div>my musingshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04483656855801450172noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29665298.post-45141714323909244512012-07-26T15:49:00.000-06:002012-07-26T15:49:04.642-06:00"Just as the moon has no light of it's own,but can only reflect the light of the sun, so are past and future only pale reflections of the light, power, and reality of the eternal present" Eckhart Tolle<br />
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This quote was at the beginning of a daily guide that I often read. It talks about how we hold onto past experiences and dwell on thoughts of what we could have done, or should have done. I have, in the past, wasted much time and emotional energy obsessing about things, until one time I realized that I had spent most of a week obsessing, wasting energy and emotion on something that was past, all gone, kaput. I finally realized that what is in the past cannot be changed. Of course, I knew that I wasn't changing things, but somehow going over and over what I should have done was a habit that I imposed on myself, perhaps as a way to atone for an error or to punish myself, thus becoming more worthy. Sounds really weird doesn't it?<br />
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I guess we all have behaviors that are not serving us. The trick is to recognize them, stop them and move on.It isn't always easy to stop habits, but if we stop and ask ourselves if we're accomplishing anything positive, sometimes that helps. I still find myself trying to do the past over in a different way sometimes, but eventually, I stop myself with a reminder that the past can't be changed.<br />
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Speaking of Eckhart Tolle, I wish I could really experience what he talks about, living only in the present. I'm aware that we only exist in the "now", but the "now" keeps moving into the future, taking us along with it. I've read other people and I think to be fully present, you have to pay attention to what is happening right now and quit slipping into planning the future or trying to restructure the past. Obviously, we do need to pay attention to future plans, and reliving lovely memories is nice, we just need to pay attention to living and not just waiting until the future to actually live.<div class="blogger-post-footer"><script type="text/javascript" src="http://embed.technorati.com/embed/hvded6fiwi.js"></script></div>my musingshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04483656855801450172noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29665298.post-17745279953935203682012-07-17T15:37:00.001-06:002012-07-17T15:37:44.451-06:00I was reading a book about journaling and how to use it for personal growth. One suggestion was to ask yourself a question and then answer in your journal. One suggestion was," If you could live your life over, what would you change?"<br />
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Not surprisingly, my first thought was that I would get that colonoscopy when I was in my 50's and my doctor tried to talk me into it. Maybe I could have by-passed the cancer or at least caught it sooner. Of course that wouldn't have protected me from some other malady.<br />
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Another thing I might wish was that I had been more patient with my children, especially my handicapped daughter.<br />
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Would I take more chances and be more spontaneous?<br />
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Actually, many changes can be made with our present life, no need to start over, just alter behavior. That's not always so easy, but it's possible.<br />
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The problem with reliving life is that the changes you made might lead you to lose some of the things you really hold dear and you might not even know what you'd lost! Maybe I'll just leave my soul a post-it note of some of the things I'd like to do in my next life.<div class="blogger-post-footer"><script type="text/javascript" src="http://embed.technorati.com/embed/hvded6fiwi.js"></script></div>my musingshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04483656855801450172noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29665298.post-55838920370612608102012-07-14T17:17:00.000-06:002012-07-14T17:17:01.441-06:00It's been months since I've posted anything! I wasn't sure I wanted to continue with my blog or even cancel it and start a new one. But, what the heck, I'll try it again.<br />
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A lot has happened. I've had my surgery and yes, it hurt as much as I feared. I spent most of December on my bed doing crossword puzzles. I couldn't sit without pain pills. The Lortab was all that got me through the drives to Salt Lake for check-ups. Besides having the tumors removed and my bottom restructured, I also had a kidney stone removed. I didn't even know I had one, no pain at all. It was found on my CAT scan. It was pretty strange!<br />
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The next month my Aunt had pneumonia that went into respiratory failure. She was in ICU for about a month, getting fed through a gastric tube. She can't even remember the first week. We were into Salt Lake every other day, trading with my other Aunt. Fortunately, my Son did the driving. It's not wise to drive under the influence of pain pills. She eventually went on to physical therapy and finally home. It was a really scary time for all of us.<br />
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By February I was sitting some. I still use a pillow to sit on quite a lot. I've been learning how to live with a colostomy. It's going pretty well now. Of course I' m finally finished with the rest of my chemotherapy and my lab results are good. Yippee!<br />
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I lost a bunch of weight. I'm the smallest size I've been in years! Fortunately I had a fabric stash, so now I'm making new clothes pretty quickly.<br />
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There are changes in my life. I spend time changing pouches and keeping my eating regular. Fiber is my new best friend and there are things I have to think about that I'm not used to, but I feel like I'm getting better all the time. Life is pretty darn good!<div class="blogger-post-footer"><script type="text/javascript" src="http://embed.technorati.com/embed/hvded6fiwi.js"></script></div>my musingshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04483656855801450172noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29665298.post-6832447176800104572011-10-02T13:15:00.000-06:002011-10-02T13:15:19.507-06:00Changes I have finally finished with my series of radiation treatments. More exciting, I'm no longer hooked to my chemo bag! I still have the PICC line as I may need more chemo later but it wont be the constant drip version. On my last 3 radiation treatments they targeted the 2 tumors and zapped them hard. My doctor warned me that I wouldn't feel well, so I'm taking the week off. He's right, I don't feel well, but It's so wonderful not to be tired down to a belly bag that I'm still enjoying it. Still, I am very tired and have a very tender bottom due to the "trots".<br />
I'm feeling sort of at loose ends though. I'm supposed to take a month to let my body recover from the radiation and chemo. In a month, I'll see my radiation doctor, my oncologist and my surgeon. It seems like a "given" that I'll need surgery, but how extensive is the question.<br />
I was reading an article about how some researchers are trying to develop vacines that teach the body's immune system how to recognise cancer cells and destroy them instead of relying on today's treatment of "poison, slash and burn".<br />
I keep thinking that I should accomplish something, make profound changes to my life, but I'm just floating along, trying to figure out what's going on. Oh, I did get a certificate of completion from the radiation department and I got to ring the bell they have on the wall. Actually, I appreciated the whole thing because I did accomplish something, with a huge amount of help, but still, I made it to one milestone! I really appreciate the staff at the radiation department and the staff at the infusion department. They do their jobs well with lots of caring. I guess now, I recover a bit and move on to the next stage.<div class="blogger-post-footer"><script type="text/javascript" src="http://embed.technorati.com/embed/hvded6fiwi.js"></script></div>my musingshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04483656855801450172noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29665298.post-17018131526833039322011-09-22T11:46:00.001-06:002011-09-22T11:46:40.911-06:00Days Seem To Run Together I had intended to keep this a bit more currant, but as the title says, my days seem to keep running together. I seem to be doing the same thing day after day. I guess humans have an easy time getting into a rut.<br />
When I learned that I had cancer, for some reason I thought that I would face some profound changes. Of course, it isn't over yet and changes, physical at least will come, but I think I expected mental or spiritual changes, at least a change in outlook. I do view my future differently, mostly as being a bit fluid, as I don't know the final outcome. Still, I seem to be lost in the routine, the commute to treatments, the irritation to be tied down to a bag of chemo therapy, the side effects, which to be honest haven't been too bad. I seem to have slipped into a routine that seems to be keeping me from getting anything done other than treatment. I guess that it's normal to focus on that.<br />
I had plans of resuming my yoga practice, keeping up my journal, doing some sewing, etc., Instead, I do crosswords, read, play solitaire. Whee, what fun! But still, I do have hope that I'll get my act together.<br />
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When I arrived at radiation much too early, I found that they had a scheduling problem and everyone was running late. Of course my alarm went off. I called upstairs and they walked me through turning off the alarm and stopping the infusion and said I'd be fine until after my radiation. Unfortunately, the alarm wouldn't stay off. I had to keep turning it off every 5 minutes or so and during my radiation treatment, I just had to listen to it! When I went upstairs to get new solution hooked up, the alarm just kept cheerfully sounding no matter how many buttons were pushed! At least once the new solution was running, it all seemed to go back to normal. The nurse who was helping me said that model of pump wasn't too user friendly. A bit of an understatement!<br />
My Radiologist told me I was half way through my treatments. I will get some recovery time before they decide about the surgery.<br />
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<br /><div class="blogger-post-footer"><script type="text/javascript" src="http://embed.technorati.com/embed/hvded6fiwi.js"></script></div>my musingshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04483656855801450172noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29665298.post-11920140013212513442011-09-11T13:25:00.002-06:002011-09-11T13:26:00.991-06:00Time To Post Again It's been nearly a year since I last posted on my blog. I guess I thought I had nothing to say. Looking back,<br />
however, there has been a lot happening in my life. <br />
I was tired of the commute into Salt Lake nearly full time and an opening came for doing demos in Tooele's Walmart, so I grabbed it. The job is the same, I demo products and try to sell them. However, the method is quite a bit different and has taken some getting used to.<br />
My son Robert is now living with my Aunt and me, trying to find work. He misses his children like crazy. We were able to have the youngest son with us for about 3 weeks and his daughter for nearly 2 weeks. MaryLou and I didn't see much of them because they were really keeping their Dad busy.<br />
The biggest change is in me. I finally decided to get a doctor and start using my Medicare. I'd had some problems with my bowels and thought I had an internal hemorrhoid and finally consented to have a colonoscopy. I'd put it off because I thought it would be too painful. I found out that you can be sedated.<br />
It's really too bad that I didn't have the procedure sooner. My hemorrhoid turned out to be cancer! I have 2 tumors. I even have pictures of the things, in color, no less.<br />
Since then I've pretty much been going from doctor to doctor. It seems these days that you have to have a specialist for everything. I have my primary doctor who is very supportive and helped get my blood pressure under control. Then there's 2 surgeons who take care of different things, there's a doctor who did the "staging" which estimates how far along the tumor growth is. There is a doctor of radiation therapy and all the nurses and technicians and there's an Oncologist and all the support people that comes with it.<br />
Now I have radiation treatments 5 days a week Monday through Friday. I've had about 3 weeks so far. I try to work my job on weekends. Last week I started on chemo therapy wit a constant drip into my PICC line 24/7. I carry my fanny pak with my bag of chemo and the pump that gets it into me.<br />
I will try to post how things are going for me and how I feel and any thoughts that I think need to be put down. I do this mostly for myself, but for anyone who comes upon my blog who might need information or might benefit from anything I might say.<div class="blogger-post-footer"><script type="text/javascript" src="http://embed.technorati.com/embed/hvded6fiwi.js"></script></div>my musingshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04483656855801450172noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29665298.post-74645608513805383092010-10-24T13:57:00.000-06:002010-10-24T13:57:05.274-06:00Living LifeDo you ever wonder why we keep getting the same things coming up over and over again in our lives? I've heard and even sometimes believed that similar situations keep coming up in your life because you need to learn some life lesson, and these thnings will keep coming up until you learn that lesson. I don't know if it's "karma" from a past life, your own soul trying it teach your ego something, or the Universe or Spirit teaching.<br />
Then there's the Universal Unconscious, visualised by Karl Jung that could be at work. Who knows?<br />
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There's also the idea that we invite those experiences through our attention on all of the things we don't want, obsessing about them to the point that we're actually sending out enough energy to make them intentions. This belief claims that our thoughts send out energy that causes things to happen. There is some basis to this idea from the study of quantum mechanics. <br />
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I'm not sure what the answer is, but I do know that during the years I was going into debt and nothing I did seemed to help, I kept worrying about going into bankruptcy. While the idea wasn't really a focus all the time, it was still a worry that was with me a lot and there certainly was a lot of emotion involved. My situation kept getting worse until I finally filed for bankruptcy. Eventually, my life got better, I live mostly on a cash basis because even after nearly 4 years, I still don't quite trust myself with a credit card. Am I learning a lesson? I'm not sure, but my life is not as fraught with angst as it once was.<div class="blogger-post-footer"><script type="text/javascript" src="http://embed.technorati.com/embed/hvded6fiwi.js"></script></div>my musingshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04483656855801450172noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29665298.post-44974431019698159002010-10-19T11:58:00.000-06:002010-10-19T11:58:14.899-06:00What Do I Know?I told myself I was going to write in my blog oftener, but I'm so out of the habit that I'm not doing so well. I guess I feel that I have to have something big or important to say. It would be nice to say something relavent and/or profound, but how often am I near my computer when I get "big" ideas. In the meantime, I guess I'll just ramble a bit.<br />
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One of the things that frustrates me a bit lately is the idea that I am my job, like I am defined by that which I do to earn my daily bread. I'm sure I'm not alone in this. It seems to be an American passtime. When we meet someone for the first time, we may find their job listed with their name as an introduction. If we want to know anything else about them, we have to make it a point to ask. Often times, we just go on to talk about the person's job, as if that is all they are.<br />
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Some people don't seem to mind being defined by their jobs, especially if it's one they like or feel adds status. I like to think that I am more than my job, even though it takes up a lot of my time. I resent that my job leaves me too tired often to do much else but watch TV or play on my computer. Now that's a real defining passtime, right?<br />
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I guess what I'm saying is that we are more than our jobs. They may be neccessary, and time-consumming, but there is more to most of us than that. But, what do I know?<div class="blogger-post-footer"><script type="text/javascript" src="http://embed.technorati.com/embed/hvded6fiwi.js"></script></div>my musingshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04483656855801450172noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29665298.post-75705668961062055532010-10-06T17:01:00.000-06:002010-10-06T17:01:48.064-06:00A Debbie Ford BookI'm reading a book by Debbie Ford about how to cleanse yourself of ideas and beliefs that don't work for you anymore. She talks about a children's story about a little crab named Gresper. He spends his young life with other small crabs, eating scraps and living in a small area. One day he feels something different, more open and lighter. He then sees his shell has split and is laying beside him. The other crabs gather around him and begin warning him of the danger he is in until his new shell grows back and hardens. They warn him to stay where he is and not to venture farther. However, something inside calls him to venture beyond the rocks where he has lived his life, so he begins to move around the rocks. All the while, his fellow crabs are calling for him to come back. Grasper continues on around the rocks. There he sees a wonderful sight, the vast ocean opening up to him, showing him a little of the world he had not even suspected with more food than scraps and many other wonderful things. Grasper realises that he can go back and spend his life small and restricted, or he can grow and learn. He will have to reinvent himself over and over as he outgrows his shell and molts and grows a bigger one.<br />
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It's a lovely story and an introduction to her own "Grasper" moment when she is in her fourth drug treatment center, feeling the need to quit and run away, but she realises that if she doesn't stick it out this time, she will either be back again or she quite possibly will die. At this point she finds a quiet place and gets on her knees calling for a God she's not sure she even believes in.She keeps reciting the Serenity Prayer, which she has just learned "God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference," She wasn't sure how long she knelt there in pain and agony, but at some point a feeling of peace came over her and such a feeling of overwhelming love that she was amazed. <br />
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I'm actually still in the first chapter, but it promises to be a wonderful book. I'm certainly not a drug addict trying to kick the habit and survive, but I feel my life could have more meaning. I'm also of an age that I can't count on lots of time left to get things right, so here I go again with a little reinvention of my own.<div class="blogger-post-footer"><script type="text/javascript" src="http://embed.technorati.com/embed/hvded6fiwi.js"></script></div>my musingshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04483656855801450172noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29665298.post-24003738383182534202010-10-05T16:34:00.000-06:002012-09-03T17:13:04.884-06:00Things Never Change, the Players ShiftI last wrote about my 2 co-leads and their problems. Well. they did actually manage to come to terms with each other and are doing quite well with getting along. It is sometimes taking a little work, but they are doing well. Unfortunately, another person is having some problems. This lady is normally the sweetest, most generous person. She truly enjoys giving to people and being helpful. She does tend to take a little narrow view of "how things should be" and likes rules to be spelled out and followed, but she usually doesn't get too fussy at people. It's been quite surprising to see how often she gets upset and actually starts arguments. She seems to be on a short fuse lately. She is going through a divorce from a long standing marriage. I know from experience how stressful that can be. I guess the best thing we can do is to cut her some slack, though that can be hard as well.<br />
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We are in a business that changes frequently. Our schedules can change almost daily due to the business atmosphere in retail sales these days. It can be hard for people who depend on a set amount of hours per week to have those hours diminished, then as suddenly be added back to your schedule. It's a wonder we don't yell and scream sometimes. I suspect that by November, we'll be working as much as we want to, if not more.<div class="blogger-post-footer"><script type="text/javascript" src="http://embed.technorati.com/embed/hvded6fiwi.js"></script></div>my musingshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04483656855801450172noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29665298.post-53561360441431181922010-09-18T09:23:00.000-06:002010-09-18T09:23:07.264-06:00Different PerceptionsIsn't it strange how each of us is shaped by our perceptions of reality? I guess our perceptions are formed as we grow up and experience life and must be strongly influenced by our parents, at least in our early life. I assume that our perceptions are further influenced by our experiences as we grow up. But do our attitudes get frozen sometime during this formative process, or do we remain open to new ways to look at and experience things? I guess that depends on how our ideas and perceptions were formed in the first place, How do we stay open to new experiences and ideas, and do we even want to open ourselves to change?<br />
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I work with 2 other people who are"leads" as I am. I get along with each, but they don't get along with each other. As far as I can see, each of them believes that they are right in thier own perceptions and thier own ideas and attitudes, but that the other person is difficult to get along with. How is it that I don't have much problem with either person? I will say, however, that one of the person is a bit harder to deal with than the other, perhaps she just has a stronger personality.<br />
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There have been atempts by both people to "clear the air, and get things into the open" but there seems to be little progress. Each one seems convinced that the other just doesn't understand thier viewpoint. That seems right, but why? Is each person so invested in thier own perception of things that they can't let go any part of it to actually see each other as a real person and not as an obstacle? What is my course in this? Do I try to help, or do I let things go and see what happens? Maybe it's easier to simply remove myself from the equation.<div class="blogger-post-footer"><script type="text/javascript" src="http://embed.technorati.com/embed/hvded6fiwi.js"></script></div>my musingshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04483656855801450172noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29665298.post-59747663347714962342010-09-15T21:39:00.000-06:002010-09-15T21:39:02.724-06:00New thingsI just got a new laptop. <br />
actually, I've had it for about a week, but I'm just getting it set up today. I had so much trouble getting onto the internet! I knew I needed to reset my modem, and I thought I was unplugging it and replugging it, but I noticed that the lights were not going out on the modem. Then I realised that I kept unplugging and replugging my alarm clock! Whoops! I guess I would have finally noticed the time was wrong eventually.<br />
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My Aunt MaryLou also got a new computer. She got a nice desktop with a flat screen monitor. Her internet came on pretty quickly. Of course, she hasn't been using her old one for the internet because her browser went out, so she'd been using my old laptop with me.<br />
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I'm pretty happy to have a nice shiny blue laptop, but my bank balance is not looking so healthy right now. I'm going to have to get my savings back up, Here I'd been thinking I could change jobs soon, but maybe not. I had figured that if I could find something closer to home, I could save enough on gasoline to make up for a lower salary. Maybe I still can, but who knows. I work 4 to 5 days a week, though I'm not techniquely full time, but with the commute, the hours feel like full time.<br />
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My Grand daughter Caitlin will be leaving for college this weekend. Her Mom and Dad are suffering great angst and empty nest syndrom. It happens to all parents though, and we actually survive!<br />
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It's been a pretty good day, even with the computer problem. The weather is beautiful, I picked a bunch of tomatoes from the garden, and I planted 6 hens and chicks in the yard. Not a bad day.<div class="blogger-post-footer"><script type="text/javascript" src="http://embed.technorati.com/embed/hvded6fiwi.js"></script></div>my musingshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04483656855801450172noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29665298.post-11153955728172868222010-08-12T13:03:00.000-06:002010-08-12T13:03:26.710-06:00FutilityJust when you feel like you are making some headway in your life, something else is thrown at you. When my company first started our division, things were a little difficult. People were being hired quickley, trying to fill spots and get everything going. Unfortunately, some of the new hires were not very promissing and there were some who really weren't interested in the job once they tried it. Consequently, we had a lot of turnover.<br />
<br />
Finally, things are starting to come together.We have a core of people who can be depended upon to come to work, do thier shifts and do thier best. Now we are getting more and more demos thrown at us,especially on Saturdays. We have 16 demo carts and we are getting 21 demos, not counting last minute store demos.It gets pretty frustrating trying to find ways to get everything done. Sometimes it feels like we are being tested until we fail. If that's the case, what is the point to it all.<br />
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It's getting harder to go to work with a positive attitude because I feel like a runner in a race where they keep moving the finish line farther away. I realise that life can be challenging and meeting the challenge can be rewarding, but sometimes it would be nice if you could enjoy meeting one challenge before you're thrown back into the lion's den for another round.<div class="blogger-post-footer"><script type="text/javascript" src="http://embed.technorati.com/embed/hvded6fiwi.js"></script></div>my musingshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04483656855801450172noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29665298.post-43722060876036242772010-07-22T12:31:00.000-06:002010-07-22T12:31:54.627-06:00On The JobJust a little note on the continuing saga of my work-life.<br />
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This coming week-end is a big holiday in Utah, so we'll probably be busy. They have added extra demos, so now I have to work an extra day. While I understand the reasons, I'm a bit unhappy because I only found out because I check my scheduel on the computer daily. A quick email would have been nice. If I'd picked today to skip checking, because I normally have Thursday and Friday off, I wouldn't show up tomorrow and they'd be short. Of course we end up short fairly frequently anyway and have to scramble to get all demos done anyway.<br />
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I feel like things at work are in a fairly regular turmoil much of the time.I get days, like Tuesday, when things go well and I appreciate that so much. Unfortunately, it doesn't seem to happen that way often enough. Maybe the problem is that I'm in a position where I have responsibility to the company, at least my supervisor, rather than just going in, doing my demo and leaving. I guess that additional worry bothers me. We have some things going on right now,with a disgruntled employee that just add to that problem and increase tension.<br />
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I have felt, for quite some time, that I'm not really in the right job. I almost didn't apply for the job, but I was worried about being out of work and figured that getting the job was pretty certain, though I was a little surprised by how quickly I was hired. I took on the team lead position when it was offered, because I thought it would make the job more interesting. It has done that, but the extra responsibility comes with drawbacks as well.<br />
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One of these days, maybe we will be fully staffed with reliable people and there will be a resolution to the problems that we're facing right now. Maybe I'll last that long.<div class="blogger-post-footer"><script type="text/javascript" src="http://embed.technorati.com/embed/hvded6fiwi.js"></script></div>my musingshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04483656855801450172noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29665298.post-86062041103063531062010-07-16T17:31:00.000-06:002010-07-16T17:31:04.003-06:00Getting Back to WritingI actually thought about starting a new blog, newname, new purpose, etc. I still may do that, I'm not sure. I'm just stating that I'm still alive and kicking. Right now mostly kicking. <br />
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I'm still working at Sam's Club with "Tastes and Tips".I'm a team lead. That means I work longer shifts, have more responsiblity, and I get paid a whole dollar more an hour. There have been a lot of growing pains, most of which I'd prefer not to go into just now. Some of the things have yet to play out. It's like I don't know how the story ends just yet. I'm not sure I even have an opinion on the subject. There are certainly days that I'd prefer to just "bag" the whole thing. Oh well, onward and upward.<div class="blogger-post-footer"><script type="text/javascript" src="http://embed.technorati.com/embed/hvded6fiwi.js"></script></div>my musingshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04483656855801450172noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29665298.post-12696895789310425032010-04-02T16:16:00.000-06:002010-04-02T16:16:15.017-06:00It's Always SomethingI'm back again.I'm really not used to working 5 days a week! It looks like I may be getting to 4 eight hour days rather than 5 six and a quarter hours.It would certainly help my gasoline bill. I do a lot of running, fast walking actually, though I still do some demos where I stand a lot. I actually prefer the running. The standing makes my feet hurt.<br />
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We got a 3 day storm this week. It was mainly slush the first 2 days, but it cooled off enough Wednesday night to really put down the snow. We got a foot of snow here in Tooele! I spent part of my day off shoveling, I even had to dig for the newspaper. Fortunately, there were 3 neighborhood boys who came around and finished the job for me. Here we are with all this snow and the trees are starting to leaf and we also have 3 boxes of floweres to plant! We are expecting a couple more storms this week as well. I was looking for garden seeds today, but I guess I'll wait a bit.<br />
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I can hear the wind starting to blow and it's getting cloudy again.The barometer in my head says the storm is coming and giving me a headache! It's always something, right?<div class="blogger-post-footer"><script type="text/javascript" src="http://embed.technorati.com/embed/hvded6fiwi.js"></script></div>my musingshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04483656855801450172noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29665298.post-24125712492435712122010-03-22T16:22:00.000-06:002010-03-22T16:22:19.486-06:00Catching UpI figured it was about time for me to write again. <br />
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It's been very busy now that I'm working again. In fact, I'm working 5 days a week most of the time,as I was made Team Lead, assisting my manager. I work her days off, help the events specialists (new title for demos) organising their demos, do some paper work and generally run a lot. I still do some of my own demos, but not every day. I try to keep the kitchen in good shape and help my manager with ordering supplies and submit our papers to the store management.<br />
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I have had to take an online course in Food Safety Management,in addition to the Food Handler's Permit we all have to have. Now I have to take the test for Food Manager on Thursday.It's a 2 hour test and I have to go up to the University. I'm going to be glad when that's over.<br />
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Driving into Salt Lake 5 days a week has really played havoc with my gasoline bill, as the price is doing it's summer increase early this year. I work between 6 and 7 hours each day. I'm hoping to be able to go to 4 days of 8 hours each eventually.<br />
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I've been getting tired and stiff some days, I just got out of shape when I was out of work for 5 weeks. At my age, it doesn't take long to get soft. Fortunately, I've been running off a bit of wieght too.<br />
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We do all of our time verification, reports and all,including quite a bit of training on line. That's the reason some of my old team mates didn't get hired, or got discourged about even applying for this company. Several of them didn't have access to or much skill at computers. The reliance on computers means that the first thing I do when I get home from work is log onto my company website to do my report. Im on the computer more, but not doing much on Facebook or my blog. I guess I'll get organised eventually.<div class="blogger-post-footer"><script type="text/javascript" src="http://embed.technorati.com/embed/hvded6fiwi.js"></script></div>my musingshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04483656855801450172noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29665298.post-23510929902446318092010-02-28T14:46:00.000-07:002010-02-28T14:46:18.285-07:00Back At WorkLast week I had a meeting to prove I'm legal to work in the U.S.That's pretty standard these days.I had an orientation day, then I volunteered to go in on Saturday to clean demo carts and the kitchen and go through supplies and put them away. There were enough of us that it didn't take long. <br />
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It's comfortable to be in the same store with many of the same people, but there are some differences that are a bit uncomfortable. Strickly speaking, we don't use the employee break room, as we aren't Sam's Club employees. It's okay, as there's always the cafe area for food and somewhere to sit. I may have to do some changes for lunch time though, like getting an ice pack for my lunch, though for awhile I'll probably get food at the cafe. So far, they haven't put lockers for us in the kitchen area.<br />
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The reliance on my computer for schedules and such, including my work time,is different, but I'll get used to it. I tried doing a "call back" on one of my online learning programs.I'm not sure I did it right or not. Each day we work, we have to verify our time and break time, as well as answer surveys questions about our demo. It needs to be done by the end of the day if we want to be paid for that day.<br />
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We have 22 demo people, though not everyone has thier paperwork complete. There's supposed to be 2 team leads, which I thought were already set, but our supervisor told us she has to choose them. She thinks she'll start with one first. Who knows, maybe I'll get to be one, though I have a co-worker who is really interested to do it. I guess we'll see.<div class="blogger-post-footer"><script type="text/javascript" src="http://embed.technorati.com/embed/hvded6fiwi.js"></script></div>my musingshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04483656855801450172noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29665298.post-29613244108003786992010-02-20T12:23:00.001-07:002010-02-20T12:23:38.263-07:00New, Old JobI'm going to be going back to work in March. It's a new job, but still the old job. I'll be doing demos again under a new company with a new name. I'll be "an event specialist".I will be working at the same store. Oh, and Yeah, for less money, but not as much less than I was afraid. Since the parent company is based in So.Cal, we'll be doing all our paperwork on the computer. I don't mind that, but it has left out a few of my old co-workers who don't have computers. I'm also working with only a few of my old co-workers since some will be going to other stores.Looks like I'll be getting to know some other people. That can be fun.<br />
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By the time I'm back to working, I will have had 5 weeks off. Too bad I haven't made good use of the time. I've let my frustrations and worries allow me to spend way too much time spinning my wheels. I've also spent time worrying about family members,even though I can't really do much for them but have faith in thier strength and good sense to get through the big life changes they are going through.They are bright, loving people. They willall get through this crisis.<br />
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Another worry has been my 84 yr old Uncle falling and injuring his back. He's temporarily in a nursing home for therapyto get him mobile again. It's really tough on him because he's used to living alone and doing things his own way.Now he's got others making his decisions. Hopefully, he'll get well enough to go home again, even if he needs some home care.<div class="blogger-post-footer"><script type="text/javascript" src="http://embed.technorati.com/embed/hvded6fiwi.js"></script></div>my musingshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04483656855801450172noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29665298.post-42173249877539217852010-02-07T13:35:00.000-07:002010-02-07T13:35:38.247-07:00FrustrationI'm still waiting for follow up from a job interview last week. It's been 5 days and my understanding was that I would hear within a couple of days. It's supposed to come through the computer, but mine is acting so slow and decrepit, that I'm wondering if that's the problem. If I don't hear soon, I'll call or email or something.<br />
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This is all part and parcel of the feelings I've been having lately. I feel as if I'm invisible. It's sometimes like I'm on the outside, looking in at the rest of the world. It's probably all in my own head anyway. This won't be read by anyone, but it helps to write my frustration down,I guess.<div class="blogger-post-footer"><script type="text/javascript" src="http://embed.technorati.com/embed/hvded6fiwi.js"></script></div>my musingshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04483656855801450172noreply@blogger.com0