I sometimes find myself agreeing with a person I'm talking to, all the while, knowing that I don't really agree. It may be a co-worker, or a manager or a new acquaintance, or even a stranger. I'm sure that we frequently do this just to be agreeable, or because the issue isn't particularly important at the time. I guess it may not be that important if it is just an occaisional happening. There are some who would say that anytime you don't assert your own beliefs can be living a lie, therefore damaging your own soul. After 911 I often had problems when listening to some of my more militant co-workers. I'm happy yo say that I didn't validate their views on wanting vengence because I didn't agree. I mostly listened and kept my opinions to myself, deciding not to cause discent at work. This made me feel that I had been untrue to myself, though I was pretty sure I wouldn't have changed people's minds.
When I was younger, I pretty much voiced my opinion whether anyone asked for it or not. Getting older either mellowed me, making me realise that telling everyone what I think is,at best, being a bore and at worst, an exercise in futility. I have tried to learn not to judge others and to accept them as they are. Trying to convince everyone of the rightness of my opinions and beliefs is can be frustrating and usually, not worth it. Still, how do you make sure you are being true to yourself? By letting someone believe that you agree with everything they say, am I being honest? Does it even matter?
I guess you have to keep checking how you feel about yourself, whether there's a feeling of disconnectedness or a bit of guilt over something you've said or not said. Is it another person you may have wronged? If not, maybe the person you have wronged is yourself. I thought I'd have more answers to life by the time I got this old, but my ideas have changed nearly as much in the last decade as they did in my 2nd and 3rd decade. I'm not sure we ever have all the answers. If we think we do, we're probably wrong.
Looking back at this rambling post,I'm not sure I said what I wanted or if it was worth doing. Oh well, I'm just rambling anyway.
1 comment:
In my opinion, (and you KNOW I always voice my opinion, whether appropriate or not), you should always be true to yourself rather than worry about causing dissent. I way this because I think it is not so difficult to voice an opinion opposite from a co-worker or acquaintance without trying to convince them either that A. they are wrong or B. you are right. The important thing is that you have said what you reel or believe, but if you don't try to persuade or dissuade, they soon forget that your opinion is different than their opinion. I think people are just caught up a lot more in their own thoughts and lives and soon forget about what other people think. In the meantime, you can feel good about voicing your own thoughts, knowing full well they probably fell on deaf, or at least muffled, ears anyway.
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