Strange Days

I've been on my computer for hours every day this week. I wish I could say that it's all been productive time, but I can't say that. I've spent a fair amount of time playing games on Facebook. I have been doing research into what jobs are available in my area. I have put in online applications. Some of them take quite a bit of time. Some have you doing cute little tests that have you wondering what they really want. One of my friends who was laid off when I was told me she applied to be a dog washer at a pet store and had to take a psychological test that took her nearly an hour. I guess they don't want someone who might traumatise the dogs. After all, bath time can be stressful for some dogs!

I feel like I am not accomplishing much. I've hardly been out of the house. I did go to the post office one day, then to the store to buy fresh veggies as I had a yen for them. I just really feel at loose ends right now. I'm trying to figure out my best options. I'm not really in panic mode just yet. It's not as if I haven't been in this situation before. I guess it helps that I'm not looking for a big new career. I just want to keep clothes on my back and food on the table and have a little money to set aside. I figure all will be well, one way or another. We all make plans for how we want our world to be, but it's best not to get too many details planned, because the Universe will do what it thinks is best.

Here We Go Again

I guess it's a sign of the times that I'm out of a job again. In 2004 I was "downsized" by the airline I was working for. They closed several reservation centers, mine included. They did give us a chance to transfer to other centers in other states. Unfortunately, I had my Mother, who was in end-stage renal failure living with me. Of course dialysis is available all over, but things were complicated by having a handicapped daughter in a group home that expected to see Mom every other week. Ultimately, I took the early retirement package. I tried to find another job, but needed night shifts which were not available. I spent the next 2 years caring for Mom. I never regretted the descion.

Now, the present. I have been working part time for Sam's Club as a demo associate. It has been a fairly enjoyable job. I've loved my co-workers and most of our members. The commute has been long and not too fun in bad weather, plus my car is now 12 years old. It gets very good gas mileage, but maintainance could get to be a problem soon. In any case, for now, I don't have to worry about the commute. Walmart has decided to restructure their demo program, They have been one of the few stores that have hired their own demo people. It has worked for quite awhile. However, due to the general state of the economy, the program has become too expensive and not producing enough. Management has decided to use a third party company to run their demo events, so, as of 2/5 I am unemployed again. Even though we're being paid, we aren't actually working. I guess they're getting set for the change over.

It's very hard to have to tell people you have enjoyed working with good-bye. It's also a pain to go through job searching again. I have applied to the company that's going to be doing Sam's demos. Still, it keeps me in the commute mode, so I can't decide how I feel about that yet. I will try to find something closer to home, of course, but prospects aren't all that great just now. I don't really make enough on social security to stay home and sponge off my Aunt. I also need to get out in the world occaisionally too.

This is not fun, but there are plenty of others going through similar and worse times right now. I still consider myself pretty lucky anyway. I think that reinventing yourself is becoming a national passtime.

Difficult Times

My Son and his family is going through some very hard times right now. It's been going on for sometime, but seems to be reaching new hieghts of pain. There is anger and fear within the family, and of course, the other companion, blame.  It's hard to sit on the sidelines from far away and not know whether I can help, or even if I should help. After all, my Son and his wife are grown ups and have been for quite a long time. Even one of my Grandchildren is grown and another one getting close to, at least a legal age.  I'm not sure how much age has to do with anything anyway, except for experience,

All I know is that my heart aches for all of them for what they are going through.  It seems odd that you can live life fairly well for quite some years, then all hell breaks loose. I know the last dozen years of my life have been somewhat troublesome what with a divorce, taking care of my Mom at the end of her life, then a bankruptcy that has totally rearranged my life. Just when I thought the worst was over, my Daughter died. The really frustrating part, is that it seems to be spreading to my Son and Family and they seem to be doing all the painful things at once.

I'm not qualified to make their decisions for them, only they can do that. I also know that they are afraid of the future,  but are trying to meet it and make it work. I know it seems trite to say that there are opportunities in every challenge and heartbreak, but it can be true if you can just hold on. My hopes and prayers are with them all right now.

Looking at this post now, it looks very inadequate. Maybe I'm just trying to get my thoughts down.

Golden Globes....Avatar Won!

I watched the Golden Globe Awards last night. I don't usually have the patience to sit through the whole thing, but this year I did. I wanted to know if Avatar would win the best picture award, and it did! James Cameron also won best director as well. Someone made a comment in the morning paper, that Cameron's onlt made 2 pictures in 10 years, and won best director and picture for both. However, he hasn't been just sitting around for 10 years. In the acceptance speeches, last night, it was mentioned that it took over 4 years to make Avatar. That's the actual process of making the film. I'm sure James Cameron spent a lot of time creating the idea and story before he was finally able to work out the actual technology of putting it on film.

Anyway, I'm glad that the film was made, and enjoyed it immensely!

Distances

I thought I'd write a quick post before I leave for work. Life can be a little strange. I should be used to having my Son and his family living 2 states away by now, but I sometimes feel so disconnected. Of course, the disconnect is more than distance. There are some changes going on with them that cause them to disconnect too. It still is painful, not knowing how they are doing, if they are okay or not.

I got on Facebook last year as a way to stay a little more connected to them. It worked pretty well for awhile, but I am at the mercy of whether they decide to post or not.Even when they do post, it doesn't have much info. That's because it is a public forum. I know I'm usually a bit circumspect about what I post. Frankly, I mainly play games.

I do read posts from my Daughter-in-Law most days, and I'm grateful for that. there are occaisional posts from my Grandchildren, who are busy with school and all. However, my Son seems to have disappeared. There have been not posts or comments for a couple of weeks. This gets to be scary! Maybe he is no longer an online presence? I guess I need to get on the phone, though I worry about being a nosy Mom.

Well, It's time for my work commute, how fun.

Avatar

I saw "Avatar" yesterday. What a wonderful movie! My expectations were quite high, but the movie surpassed them! We saw it in the 3Dof course, well worth the extra 3 bucks. I think I would enjoy seeing it again, even with the 3 hour length, it didn't seem long. It was such a beautiful movie. The movie critic from The Salt Lake Tribune was very complimentary about the beauty and the technique. He also felt the plot was predictable. While it's true, the plot was prdictable, it's because the plot is a classic "quest of the chosen one." It's like an archetypical story within man's racial memory. That's why, even with the predictability, it draws us in. In fact, if it got too far from the pridictable course, people would have been disappointed.

The title, Avatar, is because the only way humans can live and work on the moon, Pandora, is to live through an Avatar, a being created artificially from Pandoran dna and the dna from the person who is running the avatar. Humans can't even breathe the atmosphere and only survive within their base or within their machines. They are on Pandora, basically to strip it of a natural resource that will produce huge amounts of energy for Earth. It's implied that Earth has used up it's own resources. At one point, when the protagonist, Jacob, is praying to the Pandoran diety,he states that where he comes from, there is no green, that humans have killed their "mother", alluding to Gaia, our own mother earth.

Pandora is not an easy place to live, the natives must be strong and brave, there is always something that can kill you. The world's life forms live in balance  and the world teems with beautiful life. The scientific team, who taught the natives English and developed the avatar program is run by Dr Augustine, played by Sigourney Weaver. She believes there is an energy on the planet that connects the trees and life forms. She's a scientist, so she doesn't actually believe that Pandora is alive in any other form but the way viable planets are alive, but my feeling was that Pandora was sentient, in a way.

The Pandoras are very large, they make humans look like children, small ones at that. They have blue skin that sparkles in the dark. They are tall and lean and strong with tails and have a long braid that protects a sensory organ that allows them to communicate with the animals that they bond with, as well as with the sacred tree.

The humans are not our best specimens. There are those with open minds and hearts who see Pandora's beauty, but they are few. The leader is a typical corporate leader, beholden to the company brass and the stock holders, though even he becomes concerned about the lengths the military will go to remove the Pandorans from the area the company wants to mine. The security head is good to his men, at least when they obey orders, but he concludes that the Pandorans are not technalogical, therefore, not worth saving.
The sad thing is, that I can see much of the behaviors and ethics of our own society that can be extrapolated with time and greater technological advancement, especially in the ways of conquest and war to be capable of doing such things. Still, a very enjoyable 3 hours!