New Book

I've been reading a 10 page article on a book that was written over a period of time by Carl G Jung.It was written in a big red leather bound book by hand and with his own color drawings. It was written during a time of his life when he was under going periods of visions, nightmares etc. when he was a little concerned that he was going out of his mind. It started when he was 38 years old and continued several years. Apparently, he began welcoming it and ended up anylizing himself. The book remained in a cupboard in his home throughout his life and even after his death, for awhile. Eventually, his family put it into a bank deposit box in a bank in Zurich.

The family,for many years, resisted requests to have the book published. A few years ago, a man named Noll, published a book that was very critical of Jung, making the family unhappy. Then a scholar from London, let them know that there were ,at least, 2 partial copies of the "Red Book" available that might be published. The family decided to publish a copy of the original,along with a translation from the German and over 1000 footnotes, provided by the scholar from London. At least the book would be Carl Jungs own words.

It seems that there is a lot of unusual, for a scientist, material in the book. There are myths, achetypes, even the Devil. It should be interesting reading. I've always been more interested in Jung than in Frued anyway. I'm not sure when it will be out, but I'm going to watch for it.

After Effects

Here it is May. In fact, in 3 days, it will have been one year since my daughter Michele, left us. She's been in my mind a lot lately, in fact for the last several weeks. I was remembering how hard it was to have her hooked up to machines and tubes, when I wanted, so much, to simply hold her. She was my baby, and I could only hold her hand, or pat her foot. It was very frustrating.

I also remember that I didn't seem to dream of her, at least not that I could remember. Last month, I had dreams of her several nights in a row. In these dreams, I was able to hold her, at last. When she was alive, I sometimes dreamed of her running away getting into harmful drinks,or getting lost, and I would wake in a cold sweat, having to assure myself that she was safe. At least, she was a safe as we could make her. The dreams last month would start out like my old ones, but, in the end, she was always really safe, and I was able to hug her and hold her. Maybe, it was my subconcouise, helping me to start healing.

I guess that accepting the loss of a loved one is an ongoing thing. It still doesn't seem right to lose a child. It just seems to go against the "way of things", though it does happen often enough. I am more accepting. After all, her absence is a fact, I can't change it. I still do miss her, as I miss my parents. I guess that doesn't really change. It's life, it seems.