Living Life

Do you ever wonder why we keep getting the same things coming up over and over again in our lives? I've heard and even sometimes believed that similar situations keep coming up in your life because you need to learn some life lesson, and these thnings will keep coming up until you learn that lesson. I don't know if it's "karma" from a past life, your own soul trying it teach  your ego something, or the Universe or Spirit teaching.
Then there's the Universal Unconscious, visualised by Karl Jung that could be at work. Who knows?

There's also the idea that we invite those experiences through our attention on all of the things we don't want, obsessing about them to the point that we're actually sending out enough energy to make them intentions. This belief claims that our thoughts send out energy that causes things to happen. There is some basis to this idea from the study of quantum mechanics.

I'm not sure what the answer is, but I do know that during the years I was going into debt and nothing I did seemed to help, I kept worrying about going into bankruptcy. While the idea wasn't really a focus all the time, it was still  a worry that was with me a lot and there certainly was a lot of emotion involved. My situation kept getting worse until I finally filed for bankruptcy. Eventually, my life got better, I live mostly on a cash basis because even after nearly 4 years, I still don't quite trust myself with a credit card. Am I learning a lesson? I'm not sure, but my life is not as fraught with angst as it once was.

What Do I Know?

I told myself I was going to write in my blog oftener, but I'm so out of the habit that I'm not doing so well. I guess I feel that I have to have something big or important to say. It would be nice to say something relavent and/or profound, but how often am I near my computer when I get "big" ideas. In the meantime, I guess I'll just ramble a bit.

One of the things that frustrates me a bit lately is the idea that I am my job, like I am defined by that which I do to earn my daily bread. I'm sure I'm not alone in this. It seems to be an American passtime. When we meet someone for the first time, we may find their job listed with their name as an introduction. If we want to know anything else about them, we have to make it a point to ask.  Often times, we just go on to talk about the person's job, as if that is all they are.

Some people don't seem to mind being defined by their jobs, especially if it's one they like or feel adds status. I like to think that I am more than my job, even though it takes up a lot of my time. I resent that my job leaves me too tired often to do much else but watch TV or play on my computer. Now that's a real defining passtime, right?

I guess what I'm saying is that we are more than our jobs. They may be neccessary, and time-consumming, but there is more to most of us than that. But, what do I know?

A Debbie Ford Book

I'm reading a book by Debbie Ford about how to cleanse yourself of ideas and beliefs that don't work for you anymore. She talks about a children's story about a little crab named Gresper. He spends his young life with other small crabs, eating scraps and living in a small area. One day he feels something different, more open and lighter. He then sees his shell has split and is laying beside him.  The other crabs gather around him and begin warning him of the danger he is in until his new shell grows back and hardens. They warn him to stay where he is and not to venture farther. However, something inside calls him to venture beyond the rocks where he has lived his life, so he begins to move around the rocks. All the while, his fellow crabs are calling for him to come back. Grasper continues on around the rocks. There he sees a wonderful sight, the vast ocean opening up to him, showing him a little of the world he had not even suspected with more food than scraps and many other wonderful things. Grasper realises that he can go back and spend his life small and restricted, or he can grow and learn. He will have to reinvent himself over and over as he outgrows his shell and molts and grows a bigger one.

It's a lovely story and an introduction to her own "Grasper" moment when she is in her fourth drug treatment center, feeling the need to quit and run away, but she realises that if she doesn't stick it out this time, she will either be back again or she quite possibly will die. At this point she finds a quiet place and gets on her knees calling for a God she's not sure she even believes in.She keeps reciting the Serenity Prayer, which she has just learned "God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference," She wasn't sure how long she knelt there in pain and agony, but at some point a feeling of peace came over her and such a feeling of overwhelming love that she was amazed.

I'm actually still in the first chapter, but it promises to be a wonderful book. I'm certainly not a drug addict trying to kick the habit and survive, but I feel my life could have more meaning. I'm also of an age that I can't count on lots of time left to get things right, so here I go again with a little reinvention of my own.

Things Never Change, the Players Shift

I last wrote about my 2 co-leads and their problems. Well. they did actually manage to come to terms with each other and are doing quite well with getting along. It is sometimes taking a little work, but they are doing well. Unfortunately, another person is having some problems. This lady is normally the sweetest, most generous person. She truly enjoys giving to people and being helpful. She does tend to take a little narrow view of "how things should be" and likes rules to be spelled out and followed, but she usually doesn't get too fussy at people. It's been quite surprising to see how often she gets upset and actually starts arguments. She seems to be on a short fuse lately. She is going through a divorce from a long standing marriage. I know from experience how stressful that can be. I guess the best thing we can do is to cut her some slack, though that can be hard as well.

We are in a business that changes frequently. Our schedules can change almost daily due to the business atmosphere in retail sales these days. It can be hard for people who depend on a set amount of hours per week to have those hours diminished, then as suddenly be added back to your schedule. It's a wonder we don't yell and scream sometimes.  I suspect that by November, we'll be working as much as we want to, if not more.